Where to Meet an Aligned Partner
Finding the right person starts with being in the right places — physically and mentally. A guide to getting into the right spaces where you have the opportunity to meet the right person.
People can get caught up in the "meet cute" story. They want the perfect story to tell people about how they met, whether it was at work or through a mutual friend. But if you end up finding the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, where you met becomes irrelevant pretty quickly.
The most important factor in determining whether you'll meet your person is proximity — simply being in the vicinity, online or in person, of a potential partner who would be well-suited to you.
Where to meet someone in person
If you want to meet in person, think about the spaces most likely to attract people who are aligned with you. If you're looking for someone who is health-oriented, then spending your time at bars is probably not where that person is going to be. Instead, consider joining a run club, which draws not only health-oriented people but people who are also looking to be social.
Proximity requires you to put yourself out there. That means that when you're at the run club, you actually engage. If you're hoping to meet someone at a coffee shop, then put your laptop and phone away and look up. Smile to signal that you're friendly and receptive to chatting. People are far more likely to approach someone who is smiling, because it minimizes their fear of rejection.
Proximity also means spending time socially. Spend time with friends, and let them know you're looking to meet someone. Being around friends, who might have other friends you'd connect well with, and letting them know you're looking for a partner gives you proximity to meeting someone from their friend group.
How to meet someone online
If you're open to meeting a partner online, this opens up access to people you wouldn't otherwise meet in person. I always promote dating apps to clients as a powerful tool once learned how to use effectively. So even just creating an account instantly gives you proximity.
While downloading the apps and creating a (high-quality) profile is a good first step, proximity also requires you to sign on consistently and respond to messages in a timely way i.e. within 24 hours. Creating an account is what can give people a false sense of proximity. They think that now they're on the apps, they can sit back and find their person. But it's the engagement with prospects on the apps that increases your chances of meeting someone.
Your chances improve significantly the more you sign on, click on people you're interested in, respond to messages in a timely manner, and engage in high-quality messaging where you ask substantial questions that help you learn about the other person.
It all comes down to how you show up
Meeting an aligned partner is all about proximity. And proximity is so much more than what people typically picture like signing up for the run club or creating a dating app profile. Proximity is about how you show up: the receptiveness you bring to meeting new people, the frequency with which you do it, and the level of engagement you offer.
